Monday, December 11, 2006,12:47 AM
hmm....two posts in one day....something is going on.

Well here it is...

Got an email from Stan in Australia, He instructed me to get in contact with Global Partners to work out my visa stuff and to find out what I need to do. He also gave me a list of things he would like me to help with if I come. So ...yeah....If God provides the funds, and the doors continue to open like they are....I'm going to Australia.

It is kinda sad...I'm graduating and I'm moving on with life. I don't really want to...I like confortable things....I don't like change too much. But this is what must and is going to happen.

I'm a little frustrated about myself personally. I realize I'm a really hard person to get to know. I sat down the other night and was having a conversation and the person who I've spoken to maybe once or twice said to me.

"You know, I knew guys like you in high school, crazy and wild....and always cool. But you're different, your crazy but you're intelligent, you have opinions and deep interests and care about things. I would have never imagined you this way, you are one of the most interesting people I've ever met at SWU."

I took it as a compliment...but it stung too. I'm probably one of the dorkiest people on earth but I don't want to come across that way. And I certainly don't want to come across as sensitive, even though thats probably one of my better qualities. And I don't want to come across as intelligent because....honestly....being intelligent ...ticks people off sometimes....nobody likes a smarty pants. So, I have within me a wierd duality at work. I want so desperately to combine the two and not have to play one and hide the other, it just gets frustrating. I hate people not getting me...I'm like a freaking iceberg....and I hate the fact that 90% of who I am is never seen. So this what I need God to help me change.....because this is something that needs to be changed.

I don't know why all this stuff is happening now....probably because I'm entering a wierd place and feelings and emotions are coming to the surface. I'm excited about graduation and I'm excited about life and where God is taking me.

So this song is amazingly beautiful and I guess sums up alot of feelings for me.....Kite by U2

posted by Jason
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