Dear Jason,

I trust this finds you doing well.


I have not heard back from our Superintendents. However I have been wondering about the possibility of your coming to help me with my small local church. Because the Australian church has limited resources I pastor a local church as well as holding the office of National Superintendent. The national role seems to have increased and next year will have many additional things that I will be required to give attention to. In the mean time we have lost some key leaders from this small church … some have moved from the area and others have been promoted to glory.


It would be an great encouragement to have someone come and help us here.


I have to be honest with you. There may be many things about this church that may not seem very attractive to a young person. We do not have our own building. Average attendance is about 45. There are not very many young people or children. We don’t have much in the way of music.


However …. There is a great tone amongst the people and I am confident you would be loved. Caboolture is just north of Brisbane, the capital of Queensland. There are new houses being built everywhere. There are young people who need to be reached with the Gospel.


Apart from that this is an enjoyable place to live. It is 45 minutes by train to the centre of the city and about 45 minutes north to great beaches with surf!!



Well Jason this is perhaps enough for now. I will be interested to hear if this is of interest to you.



In the bonds of grace,



Stan.

I don't really now how to feel about all of this right now, I've had all day to sit on this and think about it. I'm excited but scared, nervous and a mix of other feelings. It was a dream of mine to one day go to Australia, but to go and preach and do what I really want to be doing. This is crazy. I wanted to do something exciting and adventurous after college and this pretty much takes the cake.

Prayer would be most appreciated right now as I think all of this over and see what God wants me to do.

No one reads this thing anymore so I really don't know why I am sitting here writing stuff and backspacing it all out.

I've been struggling with a couple things lately.

1. Figuring out what to do after school. I do have a few ideas and I'm waiting to hear from Stan Baker about opportunities in Australia.
2. I feel like my heart is hardening and I don't like it
3. I feel distant from God and it hurts
4. I feel really distant from alot of my friends
5. I hurt for some people and it hurts
6. I have moments where nothing makes sense
7. I miss old friends and it hurts

Honestly, in the last few weeks I've been completely swamped and overwhelmed. I've been depressed and distant. Had someone tell me the other day I was intimidating, I laughed and actually said "are you serious?"

I don't know whats wrong with me. There are some days where I just want to pack it all up into a suitcase and walk away from everything, just disappear. It is stupid and I would never honestly do it, but there are some days when I wonder what it would be like to start everything over, and I guess in a few months I'm going to know how that feels. I'm going to be leaving the comfort of school and familiar surroundings. Here I have people who look up to me, I have people who laugh at my stupid jokes and think I'm funny, I have people who help me grow and encourage me. I guess I'm just not looking forward to post graduation.

sigh...I need encouragement pretty bad


Anyway I leave you with a awesome song by Spoken, it is a remake of Cyndi Lauper's Time after Time

Lying in my bed, I hear the clock tick and think of you
Caught up in circles, confusion is nothing new
Flashback, warm nights...almost left behind
Suitcase of memories...time after
Sometimes you picture me, I'm walking too far ahead
You're calling to me, I can't hear what you've said
Then you say, "Go slow", I fall behind
The second hand unwinds...
If you're lost, you can look and you will find me
Time after time
If you fall I will catch you, I'll be waiting
Time after time
After my picture fades and darkness has turned to gray
Watching through windows, You're wondering If I'm ok
Secrets stolen from deep inside
The drum beats out of time...

I have only 40 or less days left in my undergraduate college life and I am deeply saddened. At times I think I've even sabotaged this semester in a effort to be here longer...I really don't think I did major damage but I didn't put out a lot of effort.

I'm sad this is about over, but I am really excited about what is ahead. I'm sending out an email to the National Superintendent of Australia for the Wesleyan Methodist church there. I spoke with Chuck and he said they could use head pastors and assistant pastors in several places and that it would be real good to email the guy and see if he could use me and explain to him a little about myself. I'm really stoked because Charles said they have a huge young adult population that I would probably blend well with. I have to say I'm just excited in general because no matter how this pans out I am going to find (if God opens the doors) a place to work and get ministry experience.

we had a John Ott come to our evangelism class last week and I really enjoyed his lecture. He started the last part of his lecture with a question about Moses. He asked when Moses got his command to go out and minister, and everyone of course answered the burning bush. He then asked a question that had to do with his point. He asked when Moses found his Holy Discontent, I knew instantly that he was talking about when Moses murdered the Egyptian, this was when Moses had enough. John said we have to find our Holy Discontent, we have to be fed up with the way things are and be determined and have the heart to do something about it. He said once we know what it is to grab hold and run with it and never let go. Well I know exactly what mine is and I've known for a while, I've just felt intimidated or ill equipped to do something but I feel like I'm being made ready and I'm excited about it. I'm excited about what God has planned for my future.

All the love I've met
I have no regrets
If it all ends now, I'm set

Will we make a mark this time?
Will we always say we tried?

anyway I'm going to sleep, I need to get to chapel in the morning and then I've gotta drive home.

P.S. Thank you GlaxoSmithKline