Monday, May 29, 2006,9:24 PM
God and Hwy 12
I've been in a kinda quiet mood today. Haven't really talked alot. Began the day by cleaning the pools. Got a really great compliment by Bear (yes that is actually his name) about having a couple of good new ideas. Spent most of the time teaching Shane to use the pool vac and pressure washing the deck. Pool cleaning in the mornings kinda my early morning quiet time. I am pretty left alone to work and think. Most mornings my thoughts have a broad range, today they gravitated toward thinking about the Holy Spirit and me more or less having a conversation with God.

Yesterday was an interesting day for me. I was ready to speak for chapel, I had a good topic and I was prepared. I was a little nervous. I picked the mic up, moved my chair, dropped the mic, couldn't get it where I wanted it (because I sat in a lawn chair). Anyway once I opened my Bible and started speaking I seriously felt like I was in what I am going to call "the zone". It was a truly strange feeling. There were alot people there, I wasn't expecting as many as was there once I sat down. Normally after I realize that there are alot of people I would have been more nervous. But I wasn't, I felt like the Spirit was with me. Normally when I read scripture in front of people sometimes my eyes skip over words. Yesterday not a single one, I read scripture very slow and fluid. My thoughts just flowed, I covered every point I wanted to make and concluded it well. It was really strange because I felt it went well. Possibly for the first time I felt at home or confortable preaching.

and then I stood up, walked away and all I could feel was like numb. It was like all the blood rushed to my head at once but the feeling lasted for like 30 minutes. I didn't even sing the last song, I really just wanted to be alone. Before the service the only thing I was nervous about was being in front of all those people. So I prayed for God to give me the strength to do it, to send the Holy Spirit to help me.

I've wanted to be alone basically since the end of chapel yesterday. I felt the closeness of God, I had this overwhelming sense that He was right there beside me. Since yesterday my mind has been in like double overdrive. I wanted to process the feeling after chapel but couldn't because I had to work. So since then I've been trying to figure it out and I've come to a conclusion.

What I felt yesterday was very much like Samson, David or other old testament figures when "the Lord was dwelling on them". I can't explain it, don't understand it but all I know is I want to experience that again.

So anyway to the Hwy 12 part. I wanted to be alone tonight. So I took a drive down 12 to Avon. It was great. I just took off about 8, the sun had set but the sky was still well lit. The ocean was on my left the sound to my right. For miles it was just me in my car running down the center of an island with no other traffic. It was beautiful. I started to think about a couple of things, started talking to God about them and all of a sudden I felt like He was there. It was a great feeling.

So I guess all that is to say this. I've felt the immanence of God and to be quiet honest, Its a little crazy/scary/humbling. I just started crying in the car, I'd been thinking about it all day and all of a sudden I could really tell He was there again, not that He hadn't been with me all day just that It was a different feeling.

Anyway I'm rambling and I'm sure it doesn't make any sense what so ever.
Thought i'd share that anyway.
posted by Jason
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Tuesday, May 23, 2006,10:37 PM
settling in for another summer on the outer banks. its been ok so far, lots of work preparing the camp ground for when its starts getting busy. today was a long day. I began by scrubbing the tiles of the pool for about an hour. followed by holding up a basketball goal post and rim while mike one of the work campers mixed the cement. after that I spent a little time mowing on the toro (my lawn mower of choice) and weed eating (not my most favorite thing to do). Today I decided to wise up and use sunscreen, threw some 45 on and didn't get cooked too much.

its kinda boring right now because we don't have any activities to do and there are like 10 people in the camp ground. we drove up to nags head and got some more groceries.

the stars are out again tonight. It really is beautiful here, got to see the sun set over the sound on the way up to nags head. I have to sit out on the porch to get wireless signal, so its pretty peaceful but kinda cold.

I got a surf board to use this summer. I went over to visit Punky and Larry (campers that have property here, they are good to us) and saw they had a surf board. Larry said I could use it for the summer. Its a really nice Hatteras Glass board.

the good thing about all this time we have in between work is that i'm really taking time to make sure i read my Bible daily. i figure i need to establish my time of reading now that way when it does get busy i'll have that time already designated for only that.

It really is beautiful tonight

I miss you

lol my blog is updated and its getting cold so i'm going inside :)
posted by Jason
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