Sunday I started to have this strange feeling, for some reason I just felt something stiring in me. I was pretty tired today, but probably an hour ago I just felt this overwhelm need to spend some time alone in thought with God.

I couldn't figure out what I really wanted to do or what God was wanting of me. I walked in Paul's room and on the top of his DVD pile was the Passion of the Christ. I knew instantly what I was being asked to do. It had been on my mind for a week or so, since SGA chapel when they showed a clip from the Passion. I had to watch the prayer in the garden, the scene before Pilot, the march to the hill called the skull and the crucifixion. Those two scenes have been bugging me like a cold I can't shake.

It's extremely hard to watch the Passion, being I am very emotional about things like this. But I felt God was trying to tell me about something. So I have watched it and like I predicted I completely fell apart. But I think I got God's message.

From the garden to the cross Jesus encountered 5 distinct men. Malchus, the slave of the High Priest, Pilot, Simon of Cyrene and the theif on the cross and the Roman Guard.

Malchus when Jesus healed him just sat there, the guards called him to get up but he couldn't. Malchus had encountered God, he had a dynamic encounter with Jesus that I think changed him.

Pilot when he sees Jesus after the flogging looks stunned. Pilot utters the famous words "Ecco Homo" meaning "Behold the Man". Pilot was stunned, Jesus was almost beaten beyond all recognition. When Pilot said this to the crowd he was actually confirming that this was indeed a man that stood before him. I can only imagine what Pilot felt or was thinking but he didn't want any part of Jesus death.

Simon took up the cross of Jesus. I imagine he thought about that for the rest of his life. I can only imagine how burdened he felt, he had recieved only a small experience of what it was like for Jesus. But I am sure it changed him.

The thief. On the cross he cries out to Jesus to save him and we all know his response.

The Roman Guard says "Truly this man was God's son" Who knows what happened after that but i'm certain he was never the same.

The common thread in this for me is the fact that all encountered Jesus and all experience some kind of change in their life.

I have been differently lately, I finally feel that I have allowed Jesus to take up his rightful place on the throne of my heart. I feel that I have finally gotten to the place when I know He must be #1 in my life and I will not place anything before him. I had a dynamic meeting with God a month ago and I haven't been the same. I wake up in the mornings wondering what is going on. I am different, I feel different, I think different, I act different and it is strange. I feel like I'm walking around in new skin that I'm not used to, but overwhelmed by how liberated I feel.

This scares me because I am no longer in control of my life, I feel like screaming from how different I feel inside. I talk about it and I can't describe it, I try to make sense of it and I can't. All I know is I met God and He changed me. I am convinced 100% that you cannot encounter God and walk away unchanged.